I went back to Google and searched more. I found someone who said they had this problem but had improved it with 7th Generation detergent. We use their clothes washer detergent now, so we will try that, but really wonder whether this is unavoidable.
The 7th Gen detergent didn't do well for me either. Even with soft water. The cleaning results were so-so and there was grit & sand like deposits on upper rack glassware & flatware. I actually thought my dishwasher was giving trouble.
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